Years ago, before the encroachment of things like, oh…responsibility, I found time in my busy schedule of used record shopping and binge-drinking to help coach a 5th grade CYO team. Think Bad News Bears, without the last reel where they start winning and learn the true meaning of athletic competition. Anyway, the monotony of our weekly schedule of drubbings was broken up only by Picture Day, where all grades were brought together to create one super-human mass of short attention spans and fart jokes. Miraculously, however, this seething throng of pre-pubescence quieted down for a solid 20 minutes of rapt attention while our guest speaker addressed them. He was kind yet firm, didn’t condescend, was inspiring without sounding trite. He was a heterosexual Mike Brady. The speaker also showed great patience, staying a good 45 minutes afterwards to sign autographs for hundreds of kids who had no idea who he was. That guest speaker was St. Mary’s basketball coach Ernie Kent.
Kent returns to Moraga tonight to face his old team with the juggernaut he has created in Eugene. On the surface the matchup may appear to be a blowout in waiting, but the Gaels, the only legit threat to Gonzaga in the WCC, are no patsy. They are the wrestling match to Oregon’s track meet, with power down low in 6’11” Omar Samhan (who would be even more intimidating if he changed his name to Samhain and dressed like a death rocker), 6’7” forward Ian O’Leary, and last year’s leading scorer, forward Diamon Simpson. The Ducks will also have their hands full with St. Mary’s guard Tron Smith, mostly because his name is Tron.
I will be traveling to Moraga to see the game myself, even though being around that many white people usually makes me nervous. I hope to recap the meeting tomorrow, or tonight if I drink enough. If the latter is the case we expect that much of the post will be taken down tomorrow, when we’re sober and realize that those pictures of Vanessa Hudgens are a little inappropriate.