Try as they might to denounce any semblance of parochialism, the bulk of sports media types are still, more often than not, guilty of East Coast bias. Contrary to popular opinion, we actually think it’s an understandable sin in the same way preferring White Castle to In N Out is (though unforgivable if you know how to order Animal Style). So if we on occasion do our part to instill a little much-needed West Coast bias, this time by ignoring that conference showdown on the other side of the country and focusing on the Pac 10/Big 12 Hardwood Classic, please know that it’s just to counterbalance the sports world back Pacificward.
We imagine that to the uninitiated this looks like a match-up of the two most disparate student bodies since the Christian College Athletic Association/Vivid Schools of Adult Film and Fluffing Arts Challenge of 1997. After all, does not the typical Pac 10 curriculum consist of organizing sit-ins, smoking hash with your Lit professor, and surfing? And do not Big 12 students live in repressed, bible-thumping burgs whose Byzantine laws prevent them from exercising their natural instinct for cuttin’ footloose? The truth is that places like Corvallis, Oregon have more in common with Peoria than does Boulder, Colorado. And despite Berkeley’s reputation as ground zero for the pot culture, the two most famous potheads in the country currently, Matthew McConaughey and Ricky Williams, are both Longhorns. In fact the biggest difference between the two conferences may be that the West coast knew Bill Callahan sucked long before the Big 12 got the memo.
You may have already caught the first game last Sunday, a 76-72 Kansas win over Arizona, but here’s a brief, incisive look at the remaining slate of games.
Thurs, Nov. 29, 2007
- Oregon at Kansas State – This would be the perfect opportunity for the NCAA to implement the “Multi-ball” bonus feature from BrickBreaker.
- Oklahoma at USC – Jointly celebrating their second week without a recruiting violation.
Fri, Nov. 30, 2007
- Washington State at Baylor – Can you imagine two more abjectly depressing, soul-crushing towns to attend college in than Pullman, Washington and Waco, Texas?
- Iowa State at Oregon State – Ok, maybe you can.
Sat, Dec. 1, 2007
- Washington at Oklahoma State – Former Husky coach Marv Harshman will deliver a stirring pre-game speech to fire up UW before he realizes he’s watching the game in his living room.
- Missouri at California – Not trying to make a political statement or anything, but how long do you think the tree-sitters would have lasted in Columbia before they were shot out of their perches with a crossbow? Sometimes we think Charles Barkley may be right about living in the Bay Area.
Sun, Dec. 2, 2007
- Arizona State at Nebraska – Wherein the city of Lincoln is introduced to homemade porn, speed balls, and attractive women.
- Stanford at Colorado – Hopefully the altitude will have a positive effect on the beating Stanford’s RPI will take for playing this game.
- Texas at UCLA – UT students making the trip will be glad to know there’s just as many places in Westwood to eat stoned at 3 o’clock in the morning as there are in Austin.
- Texas A&M at Arizona – For Lute’s sake we hope he doesn’t return for this one.
- Kansas at USC – It’s unfortunate USC scheduled their Joe Francis Prison Relief Fundraiser the same week as Coaches with Cancer, though we know where our charitable donation is going.